Back when I was training to become a KGB officer, there was a two-part course which we had to undergo before we could become certified.
Although we did learn a few things during this course, it was one of those experiences which weeds out individuals from a group as opposed to building up the group.
The course had a 50% drop-out rate, and only the over-achievers were ever recommended to it in the first place. I had gone into the course on my own accord as a mere KGB agent, so everybody was expecting me to fail from the very beginning.
The first part of the course was six months, and the first three months were a joke.
We literally just reviewed basic protocols which basic KGB agents had to follow, whilst being in perfect learning conditions (8+ hours of sleep a night, all the food you could want, alcohol here and there, etc).
From the very start of the course, there was one guy who just shined right through everybody else. I am going to conceal his name because countless people have been googling my name attempting to learn everything about me, and I just googled this man, and he was one of the first search results. So let’s just call him “Vova”.
Now, regular protocol for KGB agents was mostly based on the individuals liking. Unlike how many people suggest, the USSR actually valued agents who could accomplish certain tasks while thinking freely on their own accord. After all, overseas, you are not going to have any help available the majority of the time.
Vova was the perfect agent. He was sharp, athletic, and he had a far more extensive education than anyone else in our group did.
Me? Good ‘ole Mikhail had already failed three protocol tests by the first week of the course. I was in decent shape because I had just gotten out of the army two years prior, and although I would not go as far as to say that I was stupid, I certainly was not sharp either.
I was literally at the bottom of the depth chart.
Gradually over the course of the six months I had mastered all of the basic protocols, passed all of the tests necessary to advance to the next stage, and had even made it the top five on the physical fitness depth chart.
Vova was still leading in everything.
After the six months had passed, we reached the next and final phase of our training.
One month of constant testing in the form protocol scenarios, followed by a final physical fitness test.
That one month was grueling because they had taken away all of the luxuries which we had had in the prior six months. And I mean all of it.
- We were given one outfit to wear for that entire month, and it was not allowed to be washed. We had to work out in those outfits as well.
- We were not allowed to bathe.
- We went from eating all we could want to eating rations which gradually decreased over that one month.
- We did not have a set time to wake up, some nights we would sleep a full eight or more hours, however most of the nights we would be abruptly woken up in the middle of the night for a surprise protocol scenario test.
It was at this point that most of the dropping out had begun. 50% of our class had already dropped out by the end of the first week of that month.
Since Vova was such a talented agent in every sense of the term, he had made it through the first week, but I could quickly tell that he was being drained both physically and emotionally.
Vova was usually this energetic character who was well grounded, and after that first week he just seemed so different and distant.
While we ate he’d either be gazing at the ground, or staring into the abyss. He usually led our group in our morning running routines, but now he was just kind of lingering in the middle getting it done with. He also started becoming overly emotional here and there, to the point that if he screwed something up in a drill or test, he’d have a short fit of rage, almost a mini-mental breakdown.
Then we made it through our second week of starvation, sleep-deprivation, and non-stop stress. Vova wasn’t having it. For the first time in the entire course, Vova had failed a test, and every change in his behavior which I noted in the first week was further magnified by far.
I on the other hand was also starting to feel drained. I did not really get moody or anything, but I do recall feeling emotionless. Almost like I was dead on the inside. Although I definitely felt like I was getting a lot weaker and slower as well, I was still one of our group leaders when it came to our exercise routines.
Finally, the last week had come around. It was test week.
The first three days were very light on everything, except we had no sleep.
The fourth day came around, and the first test we did was the ten-kilometer run. It was not too hard, but after three days of no sleep, it was agony.
What happened? Vova gave up before he finished the first lap. He had finally had enough.
I on the other hand ran the full ten kilometers, aced the remaining tests, and then became an officer in the KGB.
Vova — the talented KGB agent who received countless recommendations for this course, the man who was literally built for this job — had failed the course.
Mikhail — the laughingstock of the entire group who received no recommendations for this course, the man who was built for anything but this job — had passed the course.
That is the thing about me. From the day I was born, I was thrown into a world of constant pain, abuse, and disappointment.
I never expected anything but the worst. Yet I was determined to overcome all of the adversity I was cursed with, and that became my motto for life. I was a fighter.
I don’t know much about Vova, but he was born with a lot of talent that I to this day don’t have, and will never get. It seemed like he was pretty well off when I met him, but I know for sure that the only reason he even made it that far was because of his talents.
When things got too hard for Vova, he had given up.
Things don’t get “too hard” for me.
I don’t know how to give up. About halfway through the 10 KM run, I was literally running while being unconscious. It was as if my legs moved on their own accord.
Now, Vova was a talented person beyond anything which 99% of the people in this world can call themselves. The KGB officer position did not work out for him, but he could probably be anything he wants in the world. With his talent, things will come easy to him regardless of his effort.
As for everyone else? The good, the average, the under-average?
Basically anyone who is not extraordinary?
Be prepared to work. Be prepared to endure. Be prepared to push far beyond the point of feeling “drained.”
And I promise you that you will be successful.
But if you have Vova’s mentality and give up, you definitely will not get anywhere in life.
Even if You are not at all into Motorcyclcs, You will love this answer!
Most of You Indians know about this slogan “Haathi Mat Paalo” by Bajaj Dominar.
This Haathi (elephant) was Royal Enfield and that campaign was solely targeted to Royal Enfield Motorcycles with a purpose to highlight their Bajaj Dominar Brand by criticizing and defaming Royal Enfield Bikes.
From the very first launch of their Dominar Brand back in December 2016 till now, they are promoting their bike as a Royal Enfield Killer!
Now, Let’s see an interesting comparison.
Bajaj Dominar Vs. Royal Enfield Classic 350
Bajaj Dominar outperforms RE Classic 350 in every single department like Power, Torque, Engine, ABS, Riding Comfort and even all the Electronics.
But the matter of the fact is Royal Enfield Classic 350 sells 15 to 20 times more than Bajaj Dominar. A total of 5,27,737 units of RE Classic 350 sold over 22,707 units of Bajaj Dominar in FY 2017.
Why?
This is only because People who showcase and sell their products by criticizing and degrading other People’s products never ever get success in life.
If Bajaj would have marketed their Dominar Brand as a completely new segment and only highlighted it’s absolutely great features at an absolutely great price, (which is actually true) without talking rubbish about any other Brand, then the things would have been entirely different for sure.
I remember an incident;
Once in 2011, I alongside My Family went to buy a Car. We thought of buying a Hyundai Car and went to the showroom. The Sales Executive talked 95% negative points about it’s competitive brands like Mahindra and Toyota and 5% about His Hyundai Car.
When we step out of the showroom, My Family decided not to buy any Hyundai Car in future and We bought a Mahindra Car from an adjacent showroom to Hyundai that same day.
Bottom line is that People who want to get success only by talking negative and rubbish about others and not believing in Their own qualities, never ever get success.
According to my experience, these are kinds of people who success can not see them.
- Those who spend most of their time, discussing problems instead of solutions.
- Those who are stubborn even to learn through mistakes.
- Those who are hesitant to spend money today for the fear of what tomorrow will be like.
- Lack of solitude
- Those who compares themselves with others.
- Those who are slave to sex and drugs.
When I was in high-school, I worked on a group project with some people that were randomly chosen by the teacher, and everyone in the group got along well except for one person whom we’ll call Emily.
And we all really, really hated Emily.
She would never do her part of the project, and whenever we asked her about it, she would always get extremely defensive.
She would say things like:
- “Yeah, so what? You guys should have helped me.”
- “It’s not my fault. My friends kept distracting me.”
- “So what? The teacher is stupid for assigning us this project anyways.”
- “I’m a busy person.”
But the most infuriating thing we heard her say was when she did a tiny part of the project and then told us,
“You guys really need to start working more or else I’m talking to the teacher. I feel like I’m doing everything.”
(The rest of us)
What kind of people will not succeed in life?
Those who never take responsibility and selfishly blame others for their own mistakes.
You can’t succeed in life, if you have the following attributes.
1: Ignorance
Ignorance is like blindness. You can’t see the evil but you also fail to see the goodness. Just like a blind man can’t equal a man with two fully functional eyes, an ignorant man can never match the ability of a well-informed knowledgeable person.
If you wish to succeed in life, acquire the right knowledge of your field and let the light of knowledge pave the path of your success.
2: Entitlement
If you are the type of person who believe that you are entitled to anything from the world, you are unlikely to succeed in life. Nothing comes free in this world. Malcolm X said very rightly, “Nobody can give your freedom. Nobody can give you equality or justice or anything. If you are a man, you take it.”
Be a man and earn your place under the sun rather than blaming your stars and the world for not giving you what you feel you are entitled for.
3: Playing Victim
There are some people who present themselves as the victim of people, situation, upbringing, country and everything under the sun. They never find fault in themselves and they are always looking for some scapegoats to shift their failures.
You can never succeed in life as long as you are making others responsible for your failures. Only when you take responsibility of your own life, you can hope to get success in life.
4: Selfishness
If you are the type of person who is only concerned about his own life, his own success and his own welfare; you hardly have much chance of success. Just like no General can win a war without his troops and no captain can win a game without the efforts of his team, no individual can rise to high heights of success without cooperation of others.
If you want help from others, you have to learn to help others. Only when we help each other, we make a team and succeed in the game of life. The famous author Napoleon Hill said wisely, “It is literally true that you can succeed best and quickest by helping others to succeed.”
5: Risk-Aversion
If you play a game, you may win or you may lose. However, if you don’t play a game for the fear of losing, you can never win any game in your life. Life is about living with its ups and down.
Life is not for sitting silently in your secured home and live like a prisoner in your own house for the sake of safety and security. The following poem send forth this message is a very interesting way.
“There was a very cautious man
Who never laughed or played
He never risked, he never tried,
He never sang or prayed.
And when he one day passed away,
His insurance was denied,
For since he never really lived,
They claimed he never really died.
‘No risk, no gain’ is a hard truth of life.
If you wish to succeed in life, learn to accept risk as part of your life.
- People that complain about their life, but don’t do anything to change it
- People that are driven by greed, instead of driven by generosity
- People that are caught up in the past, instead of focusing on the present
- People that blame others for their mistakes, rather than learning from them
- People that believe they cant, instead of believing they can
- People that compare themselves to others, instead of focusing on themselves
- People that choose violence instead of kindness, and hate instead of love
- People that chase money, instead of chasing their passions
- People that talk about what they will do, but never take action
- People that live in a state of stress, instead of taking moments to relax
- People that choose instant gratification over long term happiness
- People that get ahead at the expense of others, instead of helping them along the way
- People that only focus on what they don’t have, instead of what they do have
- People that place judgement on others, instead of working on themselves
- People that act like someone else, instead of embracing their individuality
- People that make it to the top, but forget where they came from
- People that live in fear of failure, rather than following their dreams
From what I have seen in my 20-odd years of being an adult, the people who are most likely to succeed are the ones that come from supportive, nurturing, and psychologically [and, typically, financially] stable backgrounds. The people who are less likely to succeed come from unhealthy family backgrounds.
A strong healthy family upbringing is the single greatest advantage in life—greater than natural ability, IQ, talent or anything else. Similarly, an unhealthy family background is the single greatest disadvantage in life.
The people from healthy backgrounds have a strong sense of who they are and what they want out of life. They have the confidence to tackle adult life head on. They are less prone to anxiety and depression. People prefer happy, stable and confident people so they typically get better job opportunities and have stronger relationships and social networks which, of course, leads to more and better opportunities, psychological well-being and greater confidence and more achievements. The cycle continues. The small snowball of advantage becomes an avalanche of opportunity.
Many of these people also have a little cushion of wealth to fall back on because the parents prioritized the children over themselves. Even what seems to be a small financial advantage—like graduating college debt-free or receiving 10k as a gift for a down payment on a first condo—can become a huge one over time.
So, it is important to honestly assess what kind of family you are really coming from. People will say “stop blaming your parents” and, yes, there come a point in which you have to do this. But unfortunately I have found that if you do come from an unhealthy family background and don’t confront it, it will destroy your life.
Sometimes, it is obvious when we come from an unhealthy background—for example, in cases of physical or sexual abuse. But emotionally abusive or neglectful situations can be difficult to detect. It is difficult to have an objective perspective on our upbringing because it is all we really know and dysfunctional behaviors are normalized.
So what are some signs that you may come from an unhealthy family background?
Unhealthy parents will not respect you for who you are and will try to make you into what they think you should be (or they may just not care). They may force you to do sports and dismiss your interest in art, for example. When you do find something you are good at and try to pursue it, they will shoot it down until you find yourself shooting it down, too. They will not recognize any accomplishments you make unless those accomplishments happen to be aligned with what they value. As a result, you never get a chance to develop your natural abilities or figure out who you are. You end up feeling like you aren’t good at anything because you never had a chance to do anything well. You find yourself feeling inferior and incomplete, like you are never good enough. You are full of self-doubt and self-criticism. You have a fragile sense of self.
By contrast, healthy parents prioritize their children’s development. They love and respect them for who they are not for what they want them to be. They will nurture their children and allow them to develop their natural abilities. They do not impose their preferences on the child but allow him or her to find her natural strengths and interests. These parents will guide their children into adult life without being overbearing. They will communicate openly and honestly about choices and finances to help the young adult develop practical decision making skills so that they can reach their goals. This is how the child develops a strong and healthy sense of self that allows them to succeed in life, which is critical to healthy ego development.
We have come to think of ego as a bad thing but a healthy ego is essential for becoming a stable and successful adult. To accomplish anything worthwhile one must have a healthy ego–they must fundamentally believe that they matter, that they are good enough. A writer cannot write without a healthy ego nor can an artist paint. Without a healthy ego, they will say “what use is it? I have nothing important to say”. To create, to live to our fullest, we need a strong and healthy ego.
People who do not come from a supportive family background have a lot to overcome in adult life and may never be able to figure out who they are. They may go from one dysfunctional or abusive relationship to the next. They may feel they don’t deserve anything good in life. They may find they don’t know what they want or who they are. They may take drugs and alcohol to try to cope. They will always have a critical voice inside their head telling them they aren’t good enough. They will constantly doubt themselves and never believe they are strong and capable. Life is an uphill battle. Each day can be a source of immense pain as the person feels that they are a waste and a failure and not living up to expectations—expectations that were never set by them in the first place but were instead set by their parents.
Just as small advantages become big ones over time, small disadvantages become big ones over time as well.
If you are starting out in life—or are well on your way—and are realizing that you come from a negative family background, please try to get professional help so you can move forward. If you come from a solid and supportive background, you will probably end up fine. There will still be setbacks and pain and suffering, of course (life is HARD no matter what) but you will have a sense of who you are and what you want.
A well-developed sense of self is the greatest thing a person can have and is what is meant by the old adage “know thyself”. Once you have that, it is a matter of whether you manage to meet your personal goals or not. Success can only be measured by each one of us in our own way.
